Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…

Last night a number of us (Abby, Andy, Jenny and Aaron, Tina, and Joel and Hannah) went to the holiday open house on Park Ave. All the little shops on Park Ave were giving away free food and holiday cheer. There were carolers and people in costume for the kids. But most importantly there were roasted chestnuts. All my life I’ve wanted to try them. I vividly remember the smell of them being cooked by vendors on street corners when my family used to go into Manhattan at Christmas time. But I’d never been able to try them. Last night I got my chance. $2.00 and a bunch of junior high level “nut” jokes later, I got my first taste of chestnuts. They were far softer and chewier than I expected (typically roast nuts are kinda crunchy), but I enjoyed them a lot.

lack of segue

George Harrison died yesterday. I knew he wasn’t doing to well but the news came somewhat as a shock. Two down, two to go; and why do I have the strange feeling that Ringo will survive them all? I wish I had a copy of “While my guitar gently weeps” at work.

in other news

Of course I know what all of you are thinking: “Screw this talk of holiday cheer and dead Beatles Matt! Where’s the latest makeover???!!!” Well, good reader, there are two today:

From Jenny:

click for a larger version

Jenny writes: Here is my suggestion for your makeover… A short sort of spikey cut. Keep the blond… but with some darker hightlights. My inspiration was British Ford model “Francis”. They say “He has a look that evokes a privileged British aristocrat from the 1930’s, yet at the same time he is totally modern.” So you could wear cool tweedy argyly things with a black trench coat over them. Prince William with an edge.

and the newly employed Cindy sent:

Cindy writes: Purge the hell out of your clothes. Get it down to 6 good pairs of pants and 10 shirts or so. Save a really nice suit. Get some really cool pants. But get rid of all the older stuff. It will be much easier to maintain, clean, and select what you are going to wear. I think you should focus in on J. Crew. You should go for a cool and adventuresome look. Get rid of anything that looks folksy. Also, try to strive for solid colors and don’t purchase prints anymore.

umm, Cindy, it’s going to take more than a hair cut to pull off that look…

Keep those pictures comin’

GGGGOOOOOOOO CINDY!

Rock on! Cindy has a job!

I always wanted cinnamon buns for hair

Here’s Joel’s entry for my new look… umm… uhhh…. I don’t think this is going to be it unless I go through some major changes or get stuck in a space melodrama. To quote my friend Jai, perhaps the best word for this is Sab-o-tage. Keep the love and new looks comin’! More info on the Matt 2002 look is located below. I’d like to add one more request for anyone sending in a new entry. Could you write a short bit of text (a sentence or two) describing how you came up with the idea for the look or why I should adopt it. You know, so we can understand how your twisted… umm… I mean creative minds work. ;-)

first blood… er entry

Check out a larger version of Heather’s suggestion for Matt:2002

Wow. Within two hours of the blog yesterday I got the first entry from my friend Heather! She’s definitely pushing a GQ thing… She also sent me this picture of the glasses she added to my picture. Any thoughts? Comments? (I really need to get that feature running) Or better yet, any other submissions? Check the blog below for detail!

not so talkative robert

Last night I was in Syracuse attending a Q&A session with Kevin Smith! Yup, Mr Mallrats-Clerks-Silent Bob-Daredevil-Green Arrow himself. It was a cool experience. Kevin started around 7.45 and finally stopped at about 11.30pm. Half the audience had left (thankfully it seemed to be the half that asked dumb questions) by the end. Highlights included a call to Jason “the Pimp Master” Mewes (also known as Jay) and Smith calling a girl from the audiences’ estranged boyfriend to help them get back together. In both cases the people responses were shared with the audience by pressing the phone up to the microphone. He told a lot of stories, dealt with tons of hecklers and stupid questions (hour one pretty much was Smith vs. every jackass in the audience), and shared a little wisdom. He also showed a video of outtakes from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Or rather he let it play while he snuck out for a quick smoke. All and all the night was a lot like his movies: undisciplined, a little too long, lots of genitalia jokes, a lot of heart and some flashes of brilliance.

While I didn’t get to meet him after the show, I did ask a question that caused us to have a short conversation during the show. Thankfully I stopped before the audience turned on me. Other people who did the same thing later in the night were not so lucky. Last month it was Rollins. This month Smith. I can only wonder what December holds.

Audience Participation: Design my 2002 look!

I’ve teased about this for a while, now here it is: As 2002 approaches I find myself unsure of what I should do with my “do.” My hair is in its usual floppy, a little longer than it should be, state. I’ve had the same glasses for over two years. For example, here are some examples of old looks I’ve had:

I need a change, to update my image, and I need ideas. That’s where you come in. I’m looking for suggestions from my vast audience. How do you do this you ask? Have some fun with PhotoShop!

Click for a Matt with a lot less hair ready to edit :-)

I’ll provide two pictures, one of me with hair and glasses (to the right) one without (to get to that one click on the picture to the right… I’m not masochistic enough to publish it directly on the page). Download the pictures and go to town. Change the hair, the glasses, throw it on a body with differnt cloths. Then e-mail the results to me. The responses will displayed right here on my blog. And who knows, the best one might become my new look for 2002 (premiering on or about Jan 1). So have fun and get creative (or get serious and help me figure out what to do with my hair ’cause I’m looking for good ideas too!)

traffic and foul water fowl

I’m back in Rochester after a 10-hour drive. The trip from LI to Rah-cha-cha usual takes between 6 (if I push the limit and don’t stop) and 7 hours. Uggg. I was out of the car for maybe 15 minutes max during the trip. Traffic ground to a dead stop at least 7 times during the trip. I sat, not moving, on highways in three states. I realize that more people were driving this year due to the general discomfort with flying. But is it too much to ask that they would at least drive well? I passed 15 accidents over the course of the drive (often the reason that I was moving at 30 miles an hour for most of the trip). I hope Christmas isn’t this bad.

Ok, as for the foul fowl… I got into a fight with a swan while deep-frying the turkey for Thanksgiving. Seriously… My family’s home on LI is located on a canal and we often get visitors in the form of ducks, Canadian geese and swans. Halfway through the cooking of the turkey, a pair of swans came up our boat ramp apparently to say “hi” and eat some grass. Or so I thought. I would discover one’s really mission was far more devious.

I was alone near the fryer, preppin’ some sweet potatoes fries, when I noticed the larger swan starting to move towards the deep fryer. At first I assumed he was just going to munch on the grass in front of him. But he didn’t stop at the lawn. He kept going, getting closer and closer to the fryer. Suddenly I realized that he was making a run at the turkey and stepped between him and the fryer. The swan stopped less than two feet away from me for a moment. Then it moved to flank me to my right. I stepped to counter. The swan paused, sized me up, and then made a move to my left. I countered again and tried to shoo it away. With that the swan puffed itself up, extending its neck and flexed its wings. I suddenly realized how big a swan could get. “Hiss!” said the swan, which translated roughly as “I want some deep-fried goodness! Get outta my way.” Since “Shoo swan” wasn’t working, I shrugged and hissed right back saying “Silly Swan, turkey’s for people. Look, I’m deep-frying a distant relative of yours. You don’t want any of this.” The swan didn’t budge. If the bird actually made it to the fryer (which was less than three feet away from the stand off) it could be burned by the flame, or worse knock over the pot, ruin the turkey and mostly be killed by the 325 degree oil. I didn’t want to spend my Thanksgiving disposing of a dead swan. But there was no way I’d risk rushing this bird and possibly knock over the turkey in the ensuing melee. Finally, after a tense minute the swan retreated back to the ramp.

Situation averted, I turned to head to the back door of our house to call one of my brothers and tell what had happened. No sooner than I turned my back to walk away, the swan made another run at the pot. For the ten minutes I was held hostage by a swan. I couldn’t leave the pot unguarded; I couldn’t get help. Finally guests started to arrive and the swan retreated into the canal. He did fire off a final hiss of “you beat me this time Bernius, but there will be another day. I’ll get you my pretty and your deep-fried goodness too…”

The turkey, btw, was just about perfect. And there was much rejoicing. I think I’ll have to have people over again, to let them taste the difference.

home

I made it. I’m typing this from Long Island. I made it in last night at 12.30am. Today has been a prepin’ for T2: Thanksgiving Day, the second deep fryed turkey. I’ll be trying a different recipie this time so we’ll see if that changes anything….

deep fryed pictures

Marvel at oil bubbling. Wonder how we packed that many people into my apartment. See me like you’ve never seen me before (because in the end it’s all about me… after me it’s probably all about Tony). Check out the pictures from the Redneck/White Trash Thanksgiving Party (note: you’ll need to join oFoto to view them…). Eat yer heart out Cindy.

‘nother quickie

I’m still recovering from doing one turkey and in three days it’s “T2: Thanksgiving Day” in Amityville, NY. The audience participation thing I’ve been alluding to should be up tomorrow. I’ve just been too busy to get it up. But my plan is to have it up by tomorrow so that anyone who wishes to participate can work on it over the weekend. In the meantime I hope I’m peaking your curiosity…. :-)

confirmation

I talked earlier today with Keith, my turkey-frying guru. After some consultation he did confirm my suspicions: I overcooked my turkey by about five minutes. Sorry about that to all those good souls who attended the event. The good news is I won’t make this mistake again. Perhaps this will be an excuse to have a future party…. We shall see….

no… more… turkey…

We were successful. I have deep-fried a turkey. Wow. For the most part it went off without a hitch. The turkey was yummy (though it could have been better, more on that in a bit). No one was burned (rock on)! And my house is still here! For those interested here is the rough timeline of events:

Tuesday - The 21lb 22oz Turkey goes into the fridge to start to defrost.

Saturday 4.25pm - I set up the turkey fryer. My friend Tak comes over to help. Together they pour over 4 gallons of oil into the pot. The fryer successfully lights (without any explosions). The oil starts to heat (it’s gotta get up to 350 degrees before the turkey goes in.

4.25pm - 5.15pm - Tak watches the oil heat. I spend most of my time rubbing down the turkey with spices and injecting it with the marinade. I come to the decision that I don’t like sticking my arm inside a turkey. The oil’s hit 350.

5.20pm - Guests start to arrive. The help me get the turkey onto the frying stand and we carry it down. The turkey goes in and the oil boils over (lesson 1), scaring us a little and killing a small patch of the lawn. The fryer settles down. The temperature dropped (lesson 2) after the bird was added so we turned up the heat.

5.20pm - 6.40ishpm - Fry turkey fry!

6.45pm - Turkey comes out. Sweet Potato Fries go in.

6.55pm - Fries come out and the oil is shut off to cool. Now that it’s drained, the turkey is ready to carve. This is a first for me and I’m clueless. Mark first informs me that I have the turkey upside down and I’ve been trying to carve the back (lesson 3). Lara, Joel’s wife, gives me a crash course in carving a turkey (lesson 4). Thanks to Sarah and Denis for bringing the ultra cool carving board.

7.00pm - Everyone is eating! In an hour and forty minutes we cooked a 21lb turkey! I try the white trash “wine” Tony brought. Never drink wine that has a screw off cap (lesson 5).

       flash forward

10.00pm - Last guests leave

10.10pm - I’m in bed asleep

It was a great evening. There were a couple more things that I learned. The turkey was probably in about five minutes too long so it was a little drier than it should have been. So that’s something I have a better handle on for next time (lesson 6). Also, I’m not going to use the store bough marinade next time. It was way to salty (lesson 7). It could also be that the bird was salty as well. All I know is I woke up really dehydrated in the middle of the night; my apologies to anyone who had the same experience. But all and all it was a great first try! Thanks to everyone who joined in the experiment: Tak, Jenny, Aaron, Mark, Kim, Ken, Jen, Joel, Lara, Hannah, Abby, Tina, Chuck, Tony, Angie, Patrik, Eric, Andy, Novak, Aaron, Maria, Sarah, Dennis and all those whose names are just not coming to me now! Jenny and Andy documented a lot of this so pictures will be coming. Oh, one last lesson: after a while, you can get real sick of the smell of turkey.

talking turkey

On Sunday I purchased a 21lb turkey for Saturday. I did this kinda blind, meaning I wasn’t quite sure how large the pot was. So the first thing I did when I got home was to confirm that it did in fact fit (it did). Phew….! So far so good. Now Saturday just needs to be a good day and the turkey needs to defrost (which it’s doing in the fridge.

The news from home: As I had mentioned in an earlier post, the party this weekend was a dry run for convincing my family to let me deep fry a turkey for Thanksgiving. I had expected this to be an uphill battle. That was up until the conversation I had with my mother this weekend:

Matt: (Dials the phone… ring, ring)

Mom: (picks up) Hello…

Matt: Hi Mom, how are thing?

Mom: Good… You’re the talk of the town. Everyone’s excited about the deep-fired turkey for thanksgiving!

Matt: What…?

Mom: I renege. Everyone I talked to said how great it tastes. So I’m looking forward to it.

Matt: Wow! That’s great! I didn’t think it would be this easy… Wait a sec… “Everyone you talked to…???” Oh I see what happened. You were in the teachers lounge and started a conversation with ‘Guess what the dopey son in Rochester want to do now? Get this: he wants us to deep fry a turkey for Thanksgiving! And he bought a turkey deep fryer! Is that the craziest thing you ever heard? Sometime I really wonder about that one.’ And as soon as you finished that people around the table looked at you and then someone said ‘Actually I’ve had it before and it’s really, really good.’ Some other folks probably agreed. And since you said the talk of the town I’m guessing that you tried the same things at a couple other places and they all ended up siding with me. And that popular opinion, not your faith in your son, swayed your vote.

Mom: (silence)

Matt: well…?

Mom:mayyyybbbbeeeeee…

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family and my mother, but they definitely think that I’m the radical one. For the most part they’re right. I definitely march to a different beat than they do. Which is fine. I just thought it was funny that one of Mom’s plans backfired on her. :-)

Oh, one other quick thing. I have been meaning to ask Jenny to make a cartoon representation of me. Sadly, Tina beat me to it. But rumor is that there is Jenny has created versions of a bunch of people including me!

Tune back tomorrow for the first audience participation event on my blog!

Turkey update still to come

The Turkey update will be posted a little later today. In the mean time check out kodak.com. I’m the Picture of the Day again! In fact the next few days are going to be all be my work. I do realize that this would be a lot more impressive if I didn’t work for kodak.com. Don’t rain on my parade, ok? Actually, today’s picture is one of the best shots I think I’ve ever taken! Check it out…