coffee… mmm

earlier this year I was bummed that Moonbean’s, the coffee shop around the corner from me, had closed. They had pulled a “going on vacation” and never came back. It was a sort of personal loss as I had a lot of history tied up in Moonbeans. This past week I was pleasantly surprised to find a new coffee shop has opened in Moonbean’s space. The coffee wasn’t bad, so I again have a place to get my fix within walking distance.

Moonbeans wasn’t the first time that a favorite haunt went on a permanent vacation. A few years before Savannah’s, a restaurant also near me that used to have the best Sunday Blues brunch, never returned from vacation (now there is a Greek restaurant in its spot). I wonder what motivates the “Going on Vacation” vs. “Closing” announcement. Is it that the owners just don’t want to admit that they’re closing? Or that they reach some type of clarity while away and give up.

outside vs. inside

i’ve been contemplating measurements today. How we measure ourselves. In a note to a friend I remarked that from our earliest moments we’ve typically been judged against externals (usually our peers). This most obviously happens as a by-product of the mainstream education system. And that’s a faulty system. Or at least one that leads to large amounts of frustration. Ultimately, while we all have similar skills, everyone has certain predispositions towards certain things and biases towards others. When it comes down to it, we’re not created genetically/biologically/mentally/psychologically equal.

The real goal would be to be judged against our own potential. But that’s a lot fuzzier. And frustrating. I mean there is no easy way to gauge one’s ultimate potential. And most attempts to come up with standardized methods for testing potential (to my knowledge) have been dismal failures, most likely doing more harm than good (see IQ). Even if there was a method, there’s an argument that potentials can be increased through effort (or conversely decreased through lack there of).

All of this leads me back to the need to teach ourselves to measure ourselves against who we were yesterday. And do that in light of who we will be tomorrow. And that’s difficult, at least for me. I mean, I still often get down when I see a beginner make cognitive leaps in the Martial Arts that took me years. And in that moment, I ignore all the progress that I’ve made. I’m told that’s a pretty normal thing to do.

And sometimes, around all this, I wonder how much further along we could be as a species if we just were able to internalize wisdom the first time that we heard it: that we were not programmed, for some unknown reason, to only be capable of learning certain things through experience and through pain.

predictability

You might have noticed that I’ve posted a basic schedule on the top of this and the marital arts blog . I’ve decided this is this will be the best way for me to keep on top of things. So look for postings on this page on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The other blog will get updated on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

That isn’t to say that either might get updated more often if I have something to say (like today). But for the moment, this is the guaranteed schedule.

One of the things about being behind is that I just can’t justify taking the time to post and rant the way I’d like. And with the eminent war I have tons to say. That’s not to suggest that:

a - It will change anything. Things are set and that isn’t going to change

or

b - That it matters. Quite frankly I’m no expert in international or mid east relations. So for the moment, I’ll leave things to an expert… This audio interview with Journalist Thomas Powers should be required listening for every American. Doing his best not to take a side Powers, an expert on the CIA and other clandestine orgs, really breaks down what the real drivers are. And the real pitfalls of what lays ahead. It’s a fair assement and important to here. It comes courtesy of the NPR program, Fresh Air.

behind

that’s what I still am :-(

sick

I’ve been rather ill for the last few days. Violently ill. Exorcist ill. :-P

I’m on the mend now, but the weekend was a bit of a wash and I missed work yesterday, so I feel rather behind the 8-ball.

steps forward, steps back

Life seems to be a mix of those right now. I’ve been able to read more and have been improving on the Martial Arts side of the house. But at the same time that’s just making me realize how much I need to sacrifice for my own self development. Or at least focused self development in particular areas. I’ve always tried to be a Renaissance person, and with a full time job, there’s no way to do everything (especially if you want to maintain friendships, especially those over great distances). So for the moment, I need to put some things on the back burners to finish the things that I have in front of me.

My biggest goal: is to try to gain a teaching rank (Sifu) by the time I turn 30. I’m not sure if it’s possible, I’m a year and a half away from that. But I’m going to try!

grrrr blogger

I’ve made some “background” fixes (like the martial art link finally works). But everytime I update the template blogger converts all the “&” into the escape characters. Which if I’m not careful when I correct breaks the comments. Bleh. Well at least I realized it pretty quickly this time. The weekend was pretty calm. I mainly cleaned and helped Drea with the federal decision she is working on (believe it or not I was proofreading for her… really, I proof read other people’s work far, far, far better than I seem to proof my own… ain’t that always the case?).

lost

i feel lost right now. My gut is telling me that I should be working on something, but there isn’t much to do in the “afterglow” of NeXt (the relauch of kodak.com). I have a bunch of projects that I need to finish outside of work (the top two being cleaning my apartment and finish cutting John and Cindy’s wedding video), but I just don’t feel comfortable leaving work early? Dumb huh? No matter, I’m going to jet out after lunch and get to work on that stuff.

detox

This weekend mainly consisted of sleep. That’s pretty usual for me after finishing a big project. Thankfully, I have not gotten sick yet (which usually happens as well). All and all it was also a strange weekend because for the last four years I’ve had a Mardi Gras party this weekend. But with the launch of the new kodak.com I just haven’t had time to plan it (or get the apartment ready). There will be a party, but in a month or two.

I did end up going to a Mardi Gras “party” with Drea (”party’s” in quotes, because with only 10 people there it was much more of a gathering). Anyway the morning after I woke up with a splitting headache, which seemed strange. I had not had much to drink at the party, maybe three beers over four hours. But it still felt like my frontal lobe was attempting to secede through my forehead. And then it occurred to me that this had nothing to do with alcohol, but everything to do with the after effects of the relaunch of kodak.com. I was going through caffeine withdrawal. Typically, I drink at most one cup of caffeine coffee a day and I avoid soda. Mark, my good friend and sifu, had convinced me to get off caffeine years ago. However whenever I’m involved in a crazy project my caffeine consumption goes through the roof. In past projects I would literally pop 2 Viveran in a Mountain Dew in order to keep working at 3 in the morning. While I haven’t been that bad, I was easily up to about a 12oz cup of coffee every hour and a half during the last few weeks (given I was working 10 hour days, that adds up fast). And as usual after the project is over I just stop drinking the stuff. The end result is about 48 hours later I start to get the caffiene DTs. So I’ve broken down, upped my intake a bit, and will ween myself off a little at a time. Oh C8H10O2N4, why do you punish me?